remember remember remember.
the whole of last month passed by in a blur of mess. not good mess. the mess of life. death, and shock, and loss, and sickness, and chemo appointments for the brother, and just complete weirdness.
and this month has started off with my frequent inability to remember to breathe. or maybe it's not remembering, maybe it's just that i physically feel like i am choking sometimes. i will wake up gasping. or i will be walking somewhere and just not take that next breath, my body is so shocked by it, it takes an involuntary gasp which will make the taking the next breath even more difficult.
i'm sure this is a symptom of life. of something. of maybe possibly, insanity?
either way. i turn 26 on sunday. 26 with the worst hair cut of my life to date. well, maybe not. one time i had a perm... i might show pictures one day. or maybe not. because when me and dan were dating, and i showed him, he literally cringed and said, "oh. i don't really want to be seeing these, you look so different. it's weird."
which is always a nice thing to hear.
but the point... what was the point? the point was. i must breathe. we must all breathe. we must take one step in front of the other and take the next breath. maybe we will forget one here or there, but as long as you are able to keep walking... well, it is okay.