I'm visiting my Kb, who is far better at facebook and twitter than I!
By the side of my bed, with notes.
Because my parents are house/dog sitting for us whilst we're in Austin, and the bedroom definitely needed tidying. This is all that is left of a stack of book waist high, multiple zines, hairbands, bracelets, misc. papers with thoughts and notes scrolled on them.
T-minus 2 days!
Yet it was also a year of secret things. Of getting back to the basics; crochet, and fabric, and the written word. And of sharing very little of it. Of keeping it all for myself, just like I used to, just like I started with.
Because it is mine, just for me, and I needed to learn that all over again.
But I know some wonderful artists, people who are free and caring and organic in their creations, and it's reminding me that there must surely be a community out there for me to be a part of. A community of sharing and not competing, a community making thoughtful creations not commercialised ideas.
There are big plans coming, these next two years are going to be the foundation of it all. Starting with a trip to Austin, where said plans may just come into fruition.
But, Rhian, you must start small. You must learn your voice again, you must remember to create with abandon, you must not be fearful to share some of those creations, and you must do it all for the therapy.
I wake to a country changed and divided today. I wake to a grey sky with not much promise of a silver lining. I wake, ironically, to a country that has an unelected Prime Minister. And I wake trying to make sense of my betrayal and confusion over a party I spent my vote on that turned traitor at the final bell.
I understand there are far more complicated reasons, not least opposition by Labour MP's their selves, that leaves us with a Tory/Lib coalition, rather than a Lib/Lab coalition. But my immediate feeling is shame. I used my vote; my worthless, meaningless vote on the Lib Dem party and Nick Clegg because I believe and support their policies. Their progressive, radical ideas for electoral reformation. Their belief in giving voice to the disenfranchised and down trodden. The financial genius of Vince Cable. Their gay rights, women friendly, and pro-choice inclinations. Their complete and utter difference to the right wing, anti-woman, heteronormative supporting, money hungry, privileged right wing Tory party.
I am having a difficult time not feeling sold out, and disappointed by a party that has chosen to run with the opposition for what would appear to be little more than a few cabinet seats. I am having a difficult time believing that they would trust the provisions Cameron has claimed he will make for them. And I am more than a little sick at the constant references to the glorified Change that is coming, and the claims of putting Britain back.
In my mind, over half the country did not vote Tory. This is a government facing as much opposition as the media claimed Brown was. Only this is a government facing the opposition of a people who knows what liberation and freedom tastes like. This is a government facing the opposition of a people with information and knowledge at their fingertips. A generation who grew under a left wing government and will know what your conservative shaming and greed feels like when it inevitably rears its fugly head.
I feel as uncertain and dishevelled as my country appears today. I feel worried at what the future holds for us as a people, and us as individuals. But I am sure of one thing. I expect many broken promises of this 'New Era', but hold out hope it will not last the 28 odd years it did last time.
The Three Story House by the River,
I write to you with the sincerest of apologies. I am aware of my neglect over the last month or so, and all I can do is but to ask for your kindness and understanding. You see, I find it difficult to blog when I am overwhelmed with life, I know I know, I hear you crying out for me to blog exactly when that is an issue, but that is just not me. I like to hibernate and seclude myself from this often brash and heartless world.
You have my word that I will try my best to better with correspondence. I know you will want updates on everything that is going on, like impromptu trips to London, beautiful new hair, wedding invitation commissions, and forthcoming etsy updates. I will do my best, that is all the words I can give to you.
Please see attached video, I know you will love and adore it as much as me. This young woman they call Beyonce really is kicking it, as they say. From the glorious low-fi esq cinematography of the filming, to the all out overt 50's housewife imagery, the only thing I could have possibly loved more would have been a twist at the end, wherein she threw off this loathsome concept of housekeeper still having to meet extreme standards of beauty. But still, it is a work of magic, sure to be loved by all and understood by few.
I leave you with love and more platitudes of forgiveness, dearest bloggy. I recently acquired a fun new toy in the form of a webcam. I can now have divine internet based video calls with long distance friends, and take ridiculous images like that of below.
You are always in my mind, if not always on my fingertips.