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July 28, 2010



My battles with CFS and Fibromyalgia has been ongoing for the last couple of years. It has been a hard road to walk. I've had good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks.

But always, it's a carefully thought out balance that I try to achieve. I try to balance my activity level with my energy level with knowing what my body's response will be if I push anything a bit too far.

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this but so thankful for your words. It's good to not feel alone.

I so relate to the make-up comments. I have to wear it just to look awake many days. My dark circles are ridiculous and always garner too much attention.

((hugs)) to you. You're beautiful!


that was very brave of u! :)


Wow. I don't remember when I started following your blog or why, but just wow to this post when it appeared on my reader today.

The number of times I've not worn make up and been told "something's different? you look tired? you look ill? are you upset about something?" and I automatically know it's the lack of make up, tell them, to which they always agree "ohhh, it is that! weird!". However, there is a correlation between feeling utterly horrible and going out without any make up.

I was only diagnosed with CFS a month ago (having been struggling and chronic headaches for 4.5 years). Now I'm awkwardly rambling. I guess my point is that I'm very new to this "CFS" thing but your post fits my experiences so well and I'm a little overwhelmed that I just stumbled across it.

Thank you :)


I have used makeup as a crutch and it has made or broke my self esteem before because I let it. I am appreciative that I have a choice either way, that I have the option to consider it.... I over consider it. When I know exactly, for now, what I feel good in, I still get that nagging feeling it isn't right.

In 2005, before my wedding, my acne was so bad, that my face was bright red, with zits, and scars and cysts. it just hurt, and was sore all the time. That was right before I found out about all my food issues and it's since calmed down a whole bunch.... but I still have pockmarks and light pink scarring on my face in some places.
I remember, going into the bathroom, before I put my makeup on and just bawling my eyes out. I'd spent an hour before that watching my cousin and sister in law casually put on their own makeup, all the foundation, doing flirty eyeliner tricks and applying lipstick with a steady, confident hand. And all I wanted was for my skin to just look half as clear as theirs did before they put a stitch of makeup on.
For three years it drove almost every thought I had when I left the house and faced anyone.

And that is nothing even close to CFS... or how it is for you and I should be just grateful now to even have the choice, to wear makeup or not, I know that. But I do take a lot of my self esteem from how I look and it's been a crappy road trying to change my thinking.

I don't hate makeup. I just don't feel comfortable in a lot of it. I live with concealer in my purse on the chance an angry pimple will pop up during the day... mostly just behavior from a couple years ago though. I am NOT makeup free. And I don't intend to be. I just want to stop stressing about the makeup I don't wear. I judge myself over it constantly.
Why didn't I put on more eyeliner, why didn't I curl my eyelashes, I should have worn lipstick. Blech. Sounds so lame to even type out.

This whole makeup and idea of natural beauty thing has been swirling around in my head a lot the past few weeks. I gotta stop caring about what other people do and just do what I do.

This is stupidly long. Sorry. And I really hope it didn't offend or that my blog posts lately about makeup didn't offend. (not that I'm all that important, but I get worried sometimes... it's bad enough trying to get your meaning across in person.)

By the way - I think you look beautiful.
Tired, yes. of course.
But honestly beautiful.

heather fuentes

You are beautiful. I wish that I had your courage because I do not fight the battle you do but refuse to post a picture of myself (or even go to the grocery) without makeup. I am vain. I don't know when it happened but I do know that I don't like the way I look without makeup. Sometimes I wish that weren't the case, but most of the time, I don't even think about it. It's an automatic vanity, I guess. Anyway, blah blah me whatever. You are strong and brave beyond your 26 years and that is why I love you so and am proud to call you my friend.

Rhian Caroline

marchingstars, im so sorry to hear you have been diagnosed with this. but also pleased for you?

a diagnosis is one step to learning about the condition and learning how to work your body with it, so it is a good thing in that sense.

i would have replied to this privately but your email isnt attached, so i hope you see this :)


Sasha "sweet thang" Holloway

WOW .. {{hugs}} and thanks for always being an honest blog companion

kim smith

maybe i'm just better at hiding it.
maybe i just kid myself into thinking that if i don't LOOK tired, then it will go away.
i've had so many people look incredibly shocked when i tell them i have CFS. "I had no idea" "You don't LOOK sick" "Really? How strange" are the main reactions.
but that's cause i always make an effort not to show my 'cfsface' to my classmates/friends it's weird. i guess i just go into a mode that stops me from being able to really show people.
and that's probably why i'm going to end up a lonely hermit.

the last few weeks have been way too much sleep and no going out and my cfsface everyday.
i love that you shared this.
i think you are so marvelous.


although you definitely look fatigued, you still look beautiful. i don't think make-up is really needed. just a little smile.

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