I wake to a country changed and divided today. I wake to a grey sky with not much promise of a silver lining. I wake, ironically, to a country that has an unelected Prime Minister. And I wake trying to make sense of my betrayal and confusion over a party I spent my vote on that turned traitor at the final bell.
I understand there are far more complicated reasons, not least opposition by Labour MP's their selves, that leaves us with a Tory/Lib coalition, rather than a Lib/Lab coalition. But my immediate feeling is shame. I used my vote; my worthless, meaningless vote on the Lib Dem party and Nick Clegg because I believe and support their policies. Their progressive, radical ideas for electoral reformation. Their belief in giving voice to the disenfranchised and down trodden. The financial genius of Vince Cable. Their gay rights, women friendly, and pro-choice inclinations. Their complete and utter difference to the right wing, anti-woman, heteronormative supporting, money hungry, privileged right wing Tory party.
I am having a difficult time not feeling sold out, and disappointed by a party that has chosen to run with the opposition for what would appear to be little more than a few cabinet seats. I am having a difficult time believing that they would trust the provisions Cameron has claimed he will make for them. And I am more than a little sick at the constant references to the glorified Change that is coming, and the claims of putting Britain back.
In my mind, over half the country did not vote Tory. This is a government facing as much opposition as the media claimed Brown was. Only this is a government facing the opposition of a people who knows what liberation and freedom tastes like. This is a government facing the opposition of a people with information and knowledge at their fingertips. A generation who grew under a left wing government and will know what your conservative shaming and greed feels like when it inevitably rears its fugly head.
I feel as uncertain and dishevelled as my country appears today. I feel worried at what the future holds for us as a people, and us as individuals. But I am sure of one thing. I expect many broken promises of this 'New Era', but hold out hope it will not last the 28 odd years it did last time.